How to Get the Relationship You Want: Why You Need Some Time Alone

By Shoshana Jackson
Most relationship start when two people in the “Alone Stage” of their lives come together. I believe that a relationship stands a better chance when each partner has been unattached for some time.

To learn how to get the relationship you what you need to learn why you need some times alone before entering a new relationship after a break up.

If you’re just coming out of a relationship, especially if it was a long term relationship, this is probably not what you want to hear. You’re used to being with someone. What will you do with this time alone?


If you want to get the relationship you want, you should spend this time becoming the best person you can be. You’ve learned things from your last relationship, both good and bad, and you need to reflect on this information. This information may keep you from attracting the “wrong” man into your life again.

To create the relationship of your dreams, you need to understand that who you are may be what is attracting the “wrong” people into your life. There is some lesson you need to learn that this relationship is teaching you.

That’s why even the worst relationship is a learning experience, but only if you make changes based on what you’ve discovered about yourself. This growth will help you become a better person, and this is why you need some time alone.

What this alone time is not, is a time to focus on when you’ll have your next relationship. It’s not time to find your rebound relationship or go looking for your Mr. Right Now. This is your healing time.

To learn how to have the relationship you want, you need to determine what you want in a relationship. Who do you want to be in a relationship? What changes do you need to make in yourself to be that person?

Look at the characteristics, traits and qualities you want in a “perfect mate.” You’re more likely to have the relationship with the man you want if you know what you want. After you make this list, ask yourself if you have the characteristics, traits and qualities that you want in your “perfect partner.” What do you need to heal in order to become that person?

Your relationships are a mirror of who you are at that time. They show you things about yourself that you may not want to see. Look at these things and learn from them. This will lead you closer to being the person you want to be. That’s the importance of having this time alone.

Remember, you are perfect the way you are, if you’re the person you want to be. You can be a complete person without a man in your life. It’s easy to focus on what you don’t have, instead of all the things you do have. Don’t feel sorry for yourself, put that time towards finding happiness in your life while you’re alone.

You need some time alone. Wait awhile before looking for your next relationship, there’s no hurry. Analyze your past relationships. Decide if you are the type of person you want to be. Determine what type of man you want to be with.

And finally don’t focus on what you don’t have right now, instead focus on what you do have and what you will have in your future. This will lead you to the relationship you want.
Wishing you success in life and love,

Comment/Discussion Question: Do you know how to get the relationship you want? What do you think is keeping you from finding love with the right man? What can you do to change that? Leave a comment below.

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